have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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