He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
