I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
