you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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