do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize