I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
be right there i have to get my cape
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
