i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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