someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
