Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
now i know why i became what i already was.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
