Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
