Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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