Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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