I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
