"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Farmville is her only friend.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize