I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
