im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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