u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
