When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
