I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
