Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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