then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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