It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
