So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
