So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
