i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
