We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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