Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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