Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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