I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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