What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
