Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
