Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
