Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
