he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
