my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
