My hand turned me down
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
