dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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