At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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