I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize