Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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