Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize