You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
