Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
