Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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