there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
