I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
