I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize