Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
