theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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