there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
