can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
