I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
