MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
