Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
