I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
vagina is talking i cant
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize