So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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