Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i would punch a child for taco bell
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
