NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
