she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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